Poetry · Writing

7/4/17: My tribute to my twin sister Stacy on our birthday by Tracy Diane Miller

I founded Arlene Miller Creative Writing in memory of my mother Arlene Miller (August 24, 1924-May 10, 2005) to recognize & support all forms of creative expression.
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Photo: Stacy & Tracy at the Philadelphia zoo in 1968.

I was born on July 4, 1965.  While some people spend their entire lives feeling unloved and alone, while they desperately search for a means to belong, I thankfully never suffered from that particular tragedy of spirit.

You see, I was born a twin. I never had to search for a family nor
a friend because I entered the world with my family. I traveled through life with my best friend.

I was born a twin. I was born with my best friend:

Why I am grateful that I am a twin

I have never hit the lottery. But I am wealthy. I have received some incredible blessings in my life. At 52 years old, I can look back at my life with a clear heart and appreciative eyes. What I lacked in material rewards has been made up for in emotional gifts.

I am grateful that I am a twin. It is, and continues to be, the best thing that has ever happened to me. I traveled the often treacherous roads of life with my best friend by my side. Stacy is God’s gift to me. I could never repay such generosity. It was as if God said that despite the emotional upheavals in my life, He would guarantee that I was never alone.

When we were children, we often fell asleep holding hands. I always felt safe knowing that my twin was near. I am hesitant about giving my trust to people as I have scars from those individuals who have hurt me. Yet, I know that Stacy is there for me. She wants to fight my battles (even when I may not need or want her to). She believes in me (even when I find it hard to believe in myself). She loves me unconditionally (even when I find it hard to love myself).

I write poetry. I write poetry every day because most days, I hurt so badly & I desperately long for a past that exists only in my memories, memories that beat in sync with my heart, memories that keep me alive.

Depression is my constant companion, a mocking and fierce foe, that shadows me at every turn. Most days, I’m not nearly as appreciative to be alive as I should be. But what depression didn’t count on is that I have Stacy. Through every moment of sorrow. Through every tear that I have not shed, I remain grateful that I have my twin sister, that I have Stacy, for that is how I face the days ahead.

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A memory endures

What is a memory?
But a moment for a mind to share,
A gift from the sands of time,
Nurtured by a heart’s care.

For in my mind,
Where happy memories dwell,
I think of our special moments,
My soul will gratefully tell.

Of twins,
Whose hearts seemingly beat as one,
Who became best friends,
The minute their lives begun.

In a world colored by chaos,
And with sorrow circling around,
The best thing to have happened for me is to have Stacy as my twin,
An unbreakable bond we have found.
**********
My heart’s journey to you

If you listen carefully,
I will tell you something marvelously true,
My heart’s journey from birth,
Is the joy in sharing my life with you.

The seed of hope,
I find each day,
With the roads so traveled,
As you lead the way.

Even when I am a cynic,
Fed by doubt,
You give me comfort,
A silent promise that things will work out.

***********
The perfect soul mate

People talk about finding their soul mate, that person for whom Fate has created especially for them to journey through the challenges of life. The word soul mate in itself is fascinating. Most people enter this world alone and the notion that a soul needs a “mate” in order to feel whole and complete is a desired condition of humanity. Of course, soul mate takes on a romantic context. To feel “completed” one assumes denotes a spouse or partner.

Fate blessed me because I didn’t enter the world alone. I was blessed to be a twin. You are my perfect soul mate. We shared a life experience in the womb even when we were unable to communicate with words. We had our own language. I feel that we communicated with each other for the nine months before we were born. We shared a womb. We learned how to accommodate each others needs in a confined and dark space.

Once we were born, we formulated “the language of twins.”   We didn’t need to be taught the language of twins. Instinct taught us. Our hearts taught us. The language of twins is the language of the perfect soul mates.

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